onsdag 21. februar 2018

An unpleasant dream.

So, I had an unpleasant dream.

A person of my past, one whom I had largely forgotten (due to the insignificance of said person in my life), that ended up causing a situation out of nothing.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

In my dream, I was coming from one place and found myself in the capital, early in the morning. In my mind, I had arrived from some sort of night shift, or a travel by night. I was passing a familiar location, near a cafe, I believe, when I spotted a front desk clerk wearing the uniform belonging to the hotel chain I myself is employed by. I think it may have been the latter (a journey by the night - night train, perhaps), as I was able to pass the person taking over the morning shift.

Wanting to sleep, I entered the hotel, and spoke with the night shift watch - a pleasant female who understood my need for sleep. However, she did mention that there might be an issue with she whom was taking over the shift - she referred to my particular condition.

As if on cue, said person arrived. Something rather conservative she said made me place her from a small mountain village (it was too small to have town status), and I hinted at knowing her from before by using her name. I may have been somewhat smug about this - do keep in mind that in my dream I needed sleep.

She followed me into the room (which was located right next to the front desk) and continued asking from where she knew me. Not wanting to reveal it, I instead mentioned how good it must have been to depart from her home location. She disliked this and left.

I had just fixed the curtains when I heard her call someone from the outside (her boyfriend, I presume). Shortly after, as I was sitting down on the toilet, a man came bursting into my room, demanding that I departed the hotel at once. In a calm and non-threatening manner, I asked him to close the door so I could finish my bathroom business in private. Reluctant, he disagreed at first, but closed the door after a while, mentioning that when I left I should be wearing something else.

Around this time I woke up in a sweaty bed.

Now, based on the elements of this dream, I was logically going to ask on what authority he - a civilian dressed individual - could have in order to cast me out, and if he even was working at the hotel. If he was, and I found that unlikely, I would call my own supervisor and inform her of the happening, as well as ask for an explanation at the front desk, possible even asking for someone higher up in charge (front desk manager, or possible even the director) than she who seemed so eager to get rid of me.

What strikes me is that this is, to date, my most direct and dire example of transphobia. And for that I am grateful.

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