torsdag 19. mars 2015

The day I had my insides probed by a black tube was also the day I went to pick up my lightsaber.

Having your gut medically examined isn’t the most pleasing thing I’ve ever done, but it wasn’t that bad. A few gags and a good team to keep me (and tell me to remain) calm, a spray of something that tasted strongly of… something synthetic, I think – anyway, it numbed my throat before they could begin and down with the long, black wire looking equipment with a light and a camera. Wasn’t so bad.

Now, the lightsaber. It’s heavier than I expected. It’s got the look of steel in it, polished and darkened. It’s a sinister lightsaber with a red crystal in it. A lightsaber that promises and whispers. You might even say it’s prophetic as well.

I’m no Jedi. Never was, never will be. But Sith… the very definition of the word is one who follows the Sith Code. I do follow the Sith Code. Or I try to. Even made a story arch that was inspired by it. Not that it matters. Because even if I am what I am, I’m not what I want to be. So it makes little difference.

Four more weeks. Four more weeks before I’ve got an answer. An answer I’ve come to dread.

I do not fear death. I welcome death. It’s part of life. But what I do fear, is pain. Pain and the fear of the unknown, that is something to be afraid of.

And now they tell me tomorrow will be a day without sun.

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