Various quotes taken out of context.

"Cannibal Grandmother is not something that is happening every day."
Iris

Join all cults, kill all saints, empaths aren't real.
BotC player

"A brothel of dead damsels - here to fulfill all your necro needs."

Jalapeños are not a cause of turning gay.

"The barn tried to eat everybody, I'm just saying."
"But we got a necklace."
*spontaneous laughter*

Reality is a construct our brains make up to try and make sense of what our senses are telling us.
QC4912

"You pull one leaver, and all of a sudden; seventeen things you weren't expecting start exploding."

The facial expressions of a machine.

"You know what this dark altar needs? A projector. And a slideshow."

"We live in capitalism. It’s power seems inescapable. So did the Divine Right of Kings.”
Ursula le Guin

the grateful hate

I have a somewhat complex relationship when it comes to moving. Granted, I have done this many, many times over the course of my life, and as such I should be quite good at it.

I am not.

Packing, sorting, transporting and unpacking are not any of my good skills. I'm OK at carrying things, assuming they are not to heavy or too cumbersome.

Moving takes time. It is a decision. It comes with change, uncertainty, leaving behind the familiar and embracing the unknown. I'm not very good at embracing the unknown. I admit that sometimes change can be outright scary. I know I'm paraphrasing H. P. Lovecraft here, but the statement still stands. 

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."

There you go.

Uprooting whatever tentative roots you had placed down at a location can certainly affect people. Saying goodbye to various people over and over again is not a skill I think one should be good at, but it is a byproduct of rapid moving/changing location.

Even if what you are moving towards is an upgrade of what you had before.

A physical location you inhabit over a prolonged time should be called home.

What is home? That is a question that has many different answers, depending on the person being asked. For me, home is safety, being able to relax, feeling content and/or happy at.

I once felt coming home when I was visiting a city I had previously lived in. I ended up moving back to it, and it felt like home for quite a while. Now that I'm leaving said city I can say that it has been a home for me, for a while, but no longer is. Home is now someplace else. Home is where I am moving to.

I detest cleaning in general, and cleaning an apartment you're moving out of is always, ALWAYS a pain for me. And this time, I only have myself to rely on for cleaning.

Don't worry about the skeletons, I'm bringing those with me.

And books. So many books.

My home is not home without books.

I'm leaving a city for a village that in all probability is older than the city I'm leaving.

There is also easier access to nature. This pleases me.

The name of the place is more to my liking as well: the Nest in the Valley of the Blue Mountains.

Many things I leave behind. Regret is not one of them. In fact, I cannot wait to be done with this moving and cleaning and return home again.

I love how the local German rock radio station is playing so much more of the Rolling Stones than that of the Beatles. "Stones are rock; the Beatles not", explained Spice. I am inclined to agree with her. Still, it makes me very happy.

"All substance is one to him who holds the key to the cosmos", he said cryptically. "To an adept nothing is immutable. At will, steel blossoms bloom in unnamed gardens, or flower-swords flash in the moonlight."

Robert E. Howard, Conan the Barbarian

Donnerstag.

I find myself in a state of morning tiredness. The cool air sharpens the senses. Against my hands, against my face.The light bicycle jacket should not yet be disregarded for the season.

Overcast. Cloudy. Stark Bewölkt?

The night has been short. My own fault, that. I now long to go back to bed and sleep some more. I imagine many people have a similar feeling in the morning.

Rain is promised.

No coffee for me, thank you.

That was yesterday. Today - heute - is a day without sock, yelling directed at me for something that is probably my mistake (I'm sorry, by the way), fresh sheets and a LANCER game in the late evening/early night. Oh, and double caffee latte was had along side a croissant baked good with chocolate in it for morning meal and liquid.

The Nest in the Valley of the Blue Mountains.

I will not be seen and I will not be heard. I am not invisible, I am ignored. I am not disresepcted, not understood, not taken seriously or accounted for. What I am, who I am - it matters not. A stranger in a strange land, unknown, unfamiliar, with rules and regulations unexplained, seemingly without sense or logic. It is not a wishful experience nor enjoyable existance.

The Nest in the Valley of the Blue Mountains is what I call the place I live, and hopefully will do so for many years to come. The owner is nice, the neighbors lovely, and it sits in a wonderful little village. The balcony view is gorgeous. Yet it is not quite a home.

I plan to make it a home. I plan to stay at the Nest in the Valley of the Blue Mountains.

Rotewind

Translation: Red Wind. Or Rødvind.

If you want the English and Norwegian translation from German. Writing on a German keyboard and wanting Norwegian specific letters is hard without having to coy-paste from elsewhere. But I digress.

Rotewind.

A bike. Red (obviously). Not a motor bike, but a bicycle. A city bicycle, one gear only, made for riding it with a skirt. Or a dress. Now with a fresh new lock, pump for a flat tire and patching for fixing a flat tire, and a basket. All bought by Spice as a gift for this day.

A very special day. Some of you might even know why this day is special to me. Some of you may not. It is of no importance. What matters is that Spice gifted me these items after waking me with song, cake, and a lit candle. Spice is also very special to me.

Rotewind will be stationed in the garage that comes with the Nest. Ah, yes, the Nest. The Nest is where I will live next. It is in Germany. It is located in a small village attached to a larger town, itself sitting in a valley near a large German city in the Southern part of the country. Summer will be hot and for me, probably uncomfortable.

The Nest is located on the third floor (Norwegian third floor). It has a hallway, a bedroom, a livingroom, a dining room/library, a kitchen, a bunny room/storage area, and a garage. No, I still do not have a driver's licence, nor a car. The garage is for Rotewind and other items that should not be left outside in case of rain or snow or heavy fog. I'm quite fond of the Nest.

The language is still hard for me. But I am learning. Slowly and surely.

Today is a good day. Sunny. Warm. Quiet. Just as I like it.

May your day also be good. It is important to have good days in this time and age.

Chill-ten Grief Loss

 The rain and the sun.

Plastic avians on the terrace fence.

Smokeless chimneys.

Unseen waste gas excess.

A window.

Slept on couch.

The room is not your home.

Furry teeth pets.

Neck chain neckless metal heavy.

Shoulderblades goosebump freezing.

Stolen warmth spreading.

Your day, my day, every day.

Two dimentional dome.

Flesh, fleshless, bare.

A falling insect in flight.

Empty inside.

Eyes not seeing.

Ears not hearing.

Swimming words on paper puple blue.

This is not fantasy.

Unreal not-reality sharp.

Green-grey numbers changing.

White box cardboard perfume container.

Stillness.

It was not always so.

Now I cannot change it.

You are not the master of my mind.

Spice-mas without Snow.

The gathering took place 24/12-24. Six people we were: Spice, Sugar, Serious, Smiles, Science and myself. Snow was missing.

Allow me to introduce the cast.

Spice and Sugar are getting a divorce, Serious is Sugar's boyfriend, I am Spice's girlfriend, Smiles is the partner of Serious, Science is the in-married cousin of Spice and chosen cousin of mine.

Science is a former Muslim, Serious is in the process of becoming a Jew, Spice has a connection to Christianity, and I represented the heathens.

We had a lovely Germanic meal (Raclette), nice conversation, all dressed up. Presents were exchanged, I felt like a child again (in a good way), formed bonds deepened and good times were had. All I missed was Snow.

I also made us all into a D&D 5e party.
Sugar: Knowledge Domain Cleric.
Serious: Bard.
Smiles: Wild Magic Sorcerer.
Science: Wizard.
Spice: Ranger.
And myself: Great Old One Warlock.

An all very magic heavy party.

Ich habe Deutsch gelernt.

Today is the day I started upon the journey that is the learning of the German language. Despite it being lots and lots and lots of work ahead of me, I have decided to try to not be overwhelmed.