Is the breaking of a heart set to a certain musical theme? Is the disharmony of tears a product of grief alone, or merely the cover of numbness?
How can a world crumble around you as you experience loss on such a profoundly deep and personal level?
And even if it is not, then you fear that it is, and you cannot think, cannot feel anything but the terror, the pain, the hopelessness of it - and you break down inside.
The most effective way of changing is to want to become someone else, usually someone better, in the eyes of another.
Change is scary. The unknown itself is scary.
Putting a song on repeat you didn't have a sense of familiarity with in a situation such as this before you find something else that is just as shutting down.
The ability to survive does not include living.
I don't hate you.
I don't want to hate you.
Please let me not.
Not hating you.
I'm just a girl, sitting in front of a computer, trying to explain her feelings to someone else, someone far, far away, and never near - never physical, but in the heart and mind, always present.
If you go, I want to follow.
I know I can't. I know I won't do any good. That I've already squandered many a chance to do something, anything, with my on life.
And the reflection doesn't make it better.